Category Archives: LOL :D

Rat Race

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…Ashu Bolar

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typos…oh my my…

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typos…oh my my…

With the increase use of smart phones and touch screens, and constant WhatsApping anytime, anywhere, many times I come across several typing errors. Sometimes the sentences are so hilarous that you just laugh out loud (really loud!). Here are some good ones that I remember…

X: I got the job 🙂
Y: wow
Z: Congratssss! Good lick
That’s how fate is…licky you see. 😉 Probably, where luck doesn’t, there lick works 😉 Well on a keyboard, u and i are adjacent–so are g and f. Those clumsy fungers may next time type Good *uck…and if considered seriously by our friend X, I am not sure if he/she would be promoted or fired.

X: I got engaged!!
Y: OMG u r a licky gurl!!!
Oh well I assume that’s why she is engaged 😀

Ok fear…well some dears are actual fears…

Hell Asma,
Greetings from xyz!
(She meant hello…but sent me to hell with greetings :O )

Im cuming
Oh Yes Baby Yesss…

X: Werz u tday
Y: on suck leave
X: wow…no comments…we aren’t lucky to get such leaves!!!

Think you,
Sincerely,
XYZ
Ok now that send across wrong signals…thank or think…if not thank then why & what are you thinking?

Thanks for meeting today…it was great gun…
(Fun not gun)

There isn’t an end to these errors. Among friends it is acceptable. But with colleagues or may be family, I am not sure what the reaction would be.

And there is use of emojis which also can be construed as extremely confusing.

You can share some of your LOL typo moments.

Well, there will be many more typos…so dear readers…’to be continued…’ 🙂

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…Ashu Bolar

IVS

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What if a person’s brain starts working like bowels? I know it sounds crazy but the analogy is important to explain what exactly IVS mean. 🙂

If brain works like bowels, then it would collect thoughts, some of which (may be the good ones) would get assimilated and got lost somewhere in the body, and the wasteful thoughts would accumulate and accumulate to a level when it would be practically impossible to hold and then there would be peristalsis leading to movements beyond control (like those of the bowels) causing it to flush the contents (thoughts here) out of the system through an opening, i.e., mouth—and the discharge is the verbal excreta.

No, No, it’s not you. But yes, this happens in people who suffer from Irritable Verbal Syndrome (IVS)—where one suffers from verbal constipation (with occasional flatulence) alternating with verbal diarrhoea (symptoms are similar as in IBS – Irritable Bowel Syndrome).

These people are not uncommon to find, or rather very common I must say. They can be colleagues, batchmates, neighbours, family members, friends or frenemies. They are either well informed or over confident or dumb but pretending to be wise. They are constantly in need for attention and are the ‘Me’ types….feel free to add to the list!

It is hard to believe if you haven’t come across one, and if not, then for sure you will meet one soon.

Question is ‘How do you deal with someone with IVS?’

Wash Wipe Sanitize or…(not sure if there is another option)? ;P

WWS

Well, I have observed how people react. They…

  • Ignore
  • Tolerate
  • Silently smirk on their comments
  • Whisper about how irritating they are to the next person
  • Loose your cool & raise your BP
  • or Confront

I would stick to Wash Wipe Sanitize, in other words, confront…tell the person about IVS and give him/her a chance to get treated. The treatment is just a probability; the person may not change, but everyone deserves a chance no matter how offensive the condition is.

Right now I am in process of treating someone…relax…you will get your turn to treat (I am assuming you are IVS free)…till then Happy Reading! 😉

…Ashu Bolar

The Door, or the Dragon?

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“Don’t go on her looks. She is less of a girl next door and more of a girl with the dragon tattoo.” – Harvey Specter’s advice to Mike Ross while discussing a legal case in Suits—to me after Grey’s Anatomy this is the next great show with an interesting and talented star cast; and in the end of every episode, you learn something.

Now, which one of these do you think you are? No, I didn’t mean Harvey or Mike :). I know to get their images out of your head is difficult, but here I meant are you the girl next door – cute, kind and honest types? Or the girl with the dragon tattoo (you would know what it means if you have read the book or seen the movie)?

Harvey Specter :)

Harvey Specter 🙂

Mike Ross ;)

Mike Ross 😉

Generally, the expectation is more for ‘the next door’ types. It isn’t very difficult to find them as well. However, a human mind is like a coin and every coin has two sides. At a time, only one side of the coin is visible. So, the ‘door’ and ‘dragon’ are both present in the same person. It’s just that in some the ‘door’ factor is more defined, and in the others, the ‘dragon’!

Well, my answer to this question is that to the likes of Harvey Specter and Mike Ross (intelligent, smart yet kind), I am the girl next door, but for the Louis Litts (evil, malicious and annoying)—it is the girl with more than one dragon tattoo! 😉

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I know the Specters and the Litts in my life. And till you figure out yours, let me enjoy the second season to come up with some more gyan! 😀

…Ashu Bolar

Show Up, Keep Up, Shut Up!

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Recently I watched ‘Oz The Great and Powerful.’ Nice movie. Good acting. Great storyline. Beautiful visual effects and some cool animation. Of all the characters, my favourites were Finley, the Flying Monkey and the cute little China Girl.

Finley and the China Girl

Finley and the China Girl

Now why of all the amazing actors playing the magician (Oz) and the witches (Theodora, Evanora, Glinda) would someone like a Flying Monkey and the China Girl. Well, in life, most of us at our work place are either Finley – acting monkey with or without the love for bananas but carrying a huge workload, or the like the beautiful and fragile China Girl being surrounded by Carnival Magicians (not wizards) and Witches (Bad ones, not the kind and sweet Glinda types).

There is a scene in the movie where Oz (the magician and the so called Wizard) says: “Show Up, Keep Up, Shut Up!” – An advice to his new found assistant Finley in the magical Land of Oz. Now, this is exactly what every boZZ does. It is not even said aloud; it is very obvious and is to be understood.

As long as possible I do act like Finley.

Show Up – Oh yes, you have to. You do not have much of a choice in times of rising inflation.

Keep Up – In the hope of performance appraisal (Banana :D) you do your best.

Shut Up! – On many occasions.  Your innovation, but presented by your boZZs as their creation at the carnival. What do you do? Shut up. In the end of the year, you finally get the banana, but size does matter, doesn’t  it? You land up with a pocketful of change instead of a wallet full of cash. Again, what do you do? Shut up.

But how long can one shut up?

So these days, I ‘Show Up’, ‘Keep Up,’ ‘Shut Up’ (it is fun sometimes to be quiet and let other people do the talking), and at times,‘Throw Up’ (Ok, that is my idea of catharsis. Clever words at right time can be more powerful than any magical broom or emerald pendant :D).

On several occasions, I tried to be the China Girl as well; but unfortunately, in reality it is not easy to find good people let alone great people. You find yourself in midst of wicked people and in their company you will be broken with no one to fix you unlike the Oz. In the movie, Oz was still good at heart and so he was successful in driving the wicked witches out of the otherwise peaceful land. But in real life there isn’t anything like a peaceful happy place, and real time BOZZ is no where close to the great and powerful Oz.

Now, you can choose to be the wicked and vengeful witch, Theodora, or the evil and manipulative witch, Evanora. But in the long run, it does not serve the purpose and you will be driven out of the place you wish to rule at some point in your life. Glinda—the good witch—her character is interesting. But I do not have the magic wand, and without the wand, even Glinda was on the verge of disappearing forever. Therefore, until I find the wand, I am the Happy Flying Talking and Spewing Finley! 🙂

…Ashu Bolar

Frenemy – Oh Lord! Save Me From This Species!

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You know who is your best friend. You also know who your enemy is (most of the time).  But to identify your frenemy is not that easy. They are there in your difficult times; right besides you (even though they are responsible for this difficult situation in first place.)

They support you to do the most daring thing in life (as they know that this can ruin your image). They are there everywhere and at every stage of your life. If one goes, it is replaced by the other. You can not escape them. You just can’t.

So, what can you do?

Pray to Lord. (As I just did.)

Be Vigilant. (Play with their games and you will learn what to be careful of.)

Just learn to IGNORE. (Hmmm, this can be difficult. But with time you will. Listen…smile…but do what you feel is right.)

My first encounter with a frenemy was during my junior college days. (I got lucky not to have them in my school days or even if I had then I never realised.) She was or rather is suppose to be one of my close friends. I let her think that because I know I am not in anyway harming her. But I know she is harmful so I take precautions. There was always problem with her when I scored more in tests. I could come to know from the expressions and body language.

Problem Was: Jealousy – Yes, that’s why I struck her off my best friend list.

Lesson Learnt: Your friend would be happy on your success. And if it is the other way round, it means that person is not your friend.

Now next,

In medical college, extremely competitive students. So you are bound to get in touch with this species. They circulate wrong questions paper one day before the exam saying, “They are important; just study these and you will pass.” Not for once in five years any of their questions were asked, not even in Viva forget written exam.

Problem Was: Competition

Lesson Learnt: Note down the questions, continue with what you are studying and skim through the said questions and answers just an hour before the exam. That’s it!

Third destination: Post Grad College.

Ok competition is higher now, not just for scores but also for jobs. Very difficult environment. When it comes to getting job, even your closest and dear classmate leaves your side. In the group work you work hard, very hard. Your group projects and presentations are always best because not all your team members but you work hard. Scores are awesome. But when in the entire batch you, despite being best with A+++ grades, are the one jobless in the end of campus placement, your dear group members who are now employees in some big organizations tell, “Here’s my email id. Please forward your CV. There is a vacancy. We will try for sure.” You sincerely forward your resume but nothing happens as your profile is just sitting or rather sleeping in their emails.

Problem Was: Competition, Jealousy and Insecurity

Lesson Learnt: Work hard. Revise your basics. Keep giving interviews. Never lose hope. Don’t just rely on campus placement. Job portals/consultancies can be a big help. And in the end when you get job and are successful, think twice before you accept their friend request.

Ok, now, at Workplace….

This is the worst one. Usually if you are an efficient in your work, then work is not difficult but dealing with people around you is a challenge. You come across people from varied backgrounds, different qualifications, age…therefore, the scenario is difficult to adapt at first. If you don’t handle these frenemies with care, things can get messy because you have to come next day to work and face the same people. If intolerable, then you may change a job, but everywhere you will find them. So no point running away. Face them.

Some frenemy behaviours at work place…

Your colleague, one designation higher, a good friend and you eat lunch together. So she says with a broad smile, “Please place the order.” You do that. Then continues, “Could you please pay the bill as I don’t have change. I will give you later.” You do as there is no other way. This becomes a routine. Food is relished but the money is forgotten.  This behaviour is not just restricted to lunches but even when you shop together. The SLY CAT attitude.

My Reaction: Have good breakfast. Skip lunch. And no more shopping. 😛

Your best friend had some problems, is in need of a job. You recommend her to your boss. Gets selected and then the torment begins. The person is no more your friend but BEST ENEMY – backbites, tries to ruin your image, resorts to groupism, steals your other office friends, tries every minute to be the centre of attention and attraction.

My Reaction: Go to hell. Do the assigned work well because good work speaks volumes. :O

Your reporting team lead is good. Excellent at work. But comes with many behavioural issues – talks a lot, eats a lot and is extremely NOSY. Now, this person wants you be her pet alone. So warns you (beware, its manipulation) about every other person in office including your own team members.

My Reaction: Listen to her. But be good with everyone as in an organization it is always ‘WE’ that works never an ‘I’. 🙂

Another colleague, BABY DOLL…no that’s not her name, I call her so. When I first saw her, she was huge and tomboyish. Now looking at me 🙂 she has taken several fashion tips and turned into a baby doll whose ultimate aim is to get male attention. A good looking male employee around you is highly disliked by Baby Doll. She will go on diet, but encourage you to eat so that you look fat and not-so-happening. Oh those flirty eyes, that baby smile, those fringes changing direction every two minutes, that seductive voice, the sheer tops, the visible lingerie, those love bites on display, those well exposed tanned legs pictures flashed across….and the list just goes on. Baby Doll tries to overshadow you everywhere and all the time.

My Reaction: The competition is in Baby Doll’s Delusional Little Head and not mine. So chillax, and let her gain whatever attraction she thinks she can. 😉

Another colleague, JENNY…again that’s not the name but on Wikipedia I read that female donkeys are also known as jenny. Therefore the name. Jenny knows well that she does not know anything so very politely gets work done by other members of the team.

My Reaction: Some people are dumb. You can’t do much especially when they accept it. They can be very entertaining though. So help them whenever possible and at other times laugh out loud at their dumb remarks. 😀

LIAR LIAR…they are annoying…always lying about anything, everything and nothing. Now, this Liar Liar comes late then lies, leaves early then lies, bunks due to bad hangover but lies, on chat with friends but says office work, chats with boyfriend/girlfriend says it is sister/friend. Too many lies that loses track of the original lie, and therefore, lies again.

My Reaction: Your life is none of my business. So do whatever you feel right. And I know you are Liar Liar, so it’s ok as I don’t believe you anyways. ;P

PEEPING TOM…their entire focus is on your screen (monitor, mobile, tablet – just name it) to keep a track of what you are doing, are you on chat with anyone, whom did you send an email to, etc. Now, they may act like Peeping Toms because they are so by default or may be because someone has asked them to behave that way…whatever the reason it just disgusts you.

My Reaction: Ignore and be cautious. Peeping Toms do go do washrooms and for lunches – the time when you can do something that is important. 🙂

Ok now, you also get a lot, who are interested in all your conversations – with a colleague next to you, on phone – professional or personal.  These EAVESDROPPERS will stop all their work just to listen what you are talking and with whom. It’s gross.

My Reaction: Be vigilant. Any important conversation can wait till they are not around, or can be done in some other place or via messaging app. 🙂

YOUR PLACE, MY PLACE…ok this personality is always on phone talking with his girlfriend (actually, it is plural, but he pretends as if he is a dedicated sincere boyfriend) constantly busy discussing whose place is it going to be tonight. It is fine dating, but besides deciding places, you should even work. But no, they don’t move their a**** and damn they expect you to complete all their work.

My Reaction: Gave sufficient time to improve. When no improvement noticed, spoke to boss, and from there on the boss took care of things.

And many more such characters you will come across. I remember the prominent ones and I hope to add to the list soon.

You can not change a person unless the person wants to change himself or herself. But you can keep your karmas right. I believe in karmas—good or bad—it will come back to you. And if you don’t believe in karmas then just memorize the proverb we all were taught in our schools:

As you sow so shall you reap. (And why shouldn’t you? :))

…Ashu Bolar

The F-Book

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What were you thinking friend? I meant was facebook. 🙂

Today is the Internet Era where having a facebook profile is a must (If you don’t have one then you get an OMG reaction) and checking facebook profile at least twice a day is mandatory. There are many other social networking sites; however, facebook still remains one of the most popular amongst all.

There was a time when people kept dairies penning their everyday thoughts. However, this act is now replaced with status updates – some short, some long; sometimes once a day, sometimes several times in a day. With fancy mobile phones, accessing social networking sites has become very easy. I never had a diary, but yes, I do have a facebook account. I am not keen on posting updates but when it comes to decorating profile, I must say I am good at it.

Decorative enough, right? 🙂

Even I check my account at least twice a day. Every time I log in, the images and posts on my home page fill me with mixed emotions.

A Friend’s Wedding Album – likes, congratulations!

Honeymoon Pics – likes on couple and more likes on the destination (next on travel list)

Friend’s Kids Birthday Pics – wishes and likes

Get Together Pics – likes (longing for one)

Witty Posts – likes and laughs 😀

Horoscope Update – some hope

Love Horoscope – very little hope

Gloomy Remarks (as in break up related) – sad (but happy on my single status :))

Stupid Comment – wonder why this person is on my list??? :-/

Repeated Stupider Remarks – block the person  😉

Sale – smile does not leave my face till I shop shop shop and literally run out of cash!

Friend Request from a Long Lost School Friend (and a good one) – very happy! 😀

Friend Requests from Strangers – ignore

Someone Poking – I feel like poking in real sense

Game Requests – ignore

Company Promotional Update – likes likes as no other choice

Right Hand Side Ads – some very good ones

Photo Tagging – irritated (I am not quite fond of that) x(

Videos – some good, some annoying

Vacation Snaps – likes (God knows when I will go for one!)

And emotions keep swinging from like to dislike, happy to sad, irritation to anger, and of course, the vice versa.

For some, or rather many, this book is friendly, fabulous, fashionable, fanciful, flirty, funny, free spirited, full of life— in short, Fantabulous Book!

But for few it is fake, foul, flimsy, forbidden, futile, false, frustrating, freaky—means WTF book?

As for me, most of the times, reading this book makes me happy for the fact that I have so many friends, and that they are happy in their lives. We may not be conversing or chatting everyday, we might have not met for years now, but we are still connected, no matter which corner of the globe we reside.

And on friendship day with so many beautiful messages, again my emotions are swinging—a smile, a tear—and I am glad that there are friends who care.

Wishing all my friends a Happy Friendship’s Day and hoping to find more friends in the future on my Fav Book, my Facebook!

…Ashu Bolar