Initially, I applied this principle to my writing and editing only. But for the past few weeks, I have been practically applying this to other aspects of life—chucking out unnecessary comments, frenemies, any unusual behaviour, somebody’s never changing attitude, ego hassles, work politics, etc., etc., etc…and it is working! Sometimes this acts as a life saver, sometimes time saver, sometimes an easy solution to a difficult problem, sometimes mood elevator, and sometimes, simply fun.

So, these days whenever I am in doubt, I usually resort to chucking it out. It helps; at least it has till now. But personally I feel always chucking out may not be the only solution. At times one must also check out the facts before chucking out.

Well, this chucking and checking business is very interesting—interesting enough that I plan to include it in my New Year Resolution List…something different, easy, simple, and ofcourse, helpful and possibly entertaining!

And, till I master the art of chucking and checking, you all have a great fun filled happy week, happy weekend, happy holidays, happy winter and a very Happy New Year!

…Ashu Bolar

“She can handle that. After all there is no rocket science in it!!”

“It’s simple, not rocket science!!!”

When was the last time you heard your boss say this? I am sure it must have been pretty recent because almost every boss suffers from the Rocket Science Syndrome.

I have heard this phrase on numerous occasions and every time I hear ‘rocket science’ I fight back my tendency to break into laughter. Being a science student, rocket science to me is nothing but just a branch of science. So what’s the big deal? Why make rocket science appear like an impossible science? There are numerous engineers and scientist who have made immense contributions to the rocket science world—this means may be rocket science is difficult but for sure not impossible. Right?

But while you sail through your professional journey, the repeated use of this phrase makes you believe that rocket science is something very difficult, next to impossible. Slowly you start comparing every possible thing with rocket science. And then, eventually, one fine day you find yourself saying it aloud—that’s how this syndrome develops.

Up the hierarchy everyone chooses to be ‘a rocket science’. Well, I am planning to be a little different and initiate the development of a new syndrome.

If you ask me which job is the most difficult one, then my answer would be weather forecast. I don’t remember the last time when someone had forecasted it right. When they say cloudy, means it will pour. When they say rain, it could actually mean a storm. And storm means tsunami. Now, either the person forecasting is brainless, which is probably unlikely as the person is qualified enough to do the job. So that means the job is seriously difficult.

And may be someday when I reach the upper rungs of the corporate ladder, my junior would hear me say, “Get it done! It’s easy!! I’m not asking you to forecast weather!!!!!”

…Ashu Bolar

A remarkable portion of life in Mumbai is spent travelling in trains. You have missed the essence of Mumbai, if you have never travelled in Mumbai locals. Over the years, there have been many changes made in the train, train timetable, platforms, stations, etc., in order to improve the services offered by the railway authorities. A few years back, if you were unfamiliar about the train map, then to ask someone in the compartment was the only way to find out about the next stop as the map stuck on the entrance is always in a ruined unreadable state. However, the new trains with better facilities, recorded voice reminders and LED displays have made the journey more convenient.

While travelling in the local trains, my train of thoughts is usually distracted by the recorded voice that reminds the passengers on the arriving station in three different languages at uniform pauses.

Pudhil station Matunga…agala station Matunga….next station Matunga

7 to 10 am & 6 to 8 pm…Entering a local at the peak hours is a very big task, of which I was initially apprehensive, but it has become a habit now. Every day for me is a new experience as I get to observe so many different faces, expressions, clothes, accessories, accents, languages – all in my 25 minutes ride in a slow local from Dadar to Andheri. Some faces have become familiar over the past six months, yet there are many new faces that keep adding each day.

Pudhil station Mahim…agala station Mahim….next station Mahim

Hawkers…they play a very crucial role in keeping you busy during your journey by selling various products ranging from food and clothes to cosmetics, accessories & stationeries that are showcased by utilising every little unoccupied space in the train. Sometimes you feel very sad looking at them. A pregnant lady hawker with one kid in arm and balancing three cardboard boxes full of stuffs on her head with the other hand in a moving train is not at all a pleasant sight. The kids who sell stuffs are suppose to be in school, not trains receiving odd stares and comments – sad, a very sad glimpse of developing India.

Pudhil station Bandra…agala station Bandra…next station Bandra

Conversations…hmmm…sometimes interesting, sometimes very boring and irritating, however, they somehow keep you engrossed. No, no, it is not eavesdropping. People are loud and clear, therefore, I am forced to hear them. Again they come is various forms – a conversation between two friends, gossips and discussions on daily soaps, arguments between two ladies or blushing of someone while talking with husband/fiancée/boyfriend…you keep speculating as these days it is difficult to guess who is single and who is not with the fading marital signs like mangalsutras, sindoors and traditional wears.

Pudhil station Khar Road, agala station Khar Road…next station Khar Road

Posters…yes, they are very entertaining. These are stuck all over the metallic walls sometimes one above the other. Some of them are very hilarious like the very common one – ‘Contact Doctor Piles To Get Permanent Solution’. In my medical school, I never came across any subject that makes one a specialist in piles, so I keep wondering about this doctor’s qualifications. There are many more advertisements by astrologers, job vacancies, some brands, undergarments, etc., among the abusive words scribbled on these walls; some amusing and some annoying.

Pudhil station Santacruz…agala station Santacruz….next station Santacruz

View…Greenery at and around the tracks is beautiful. It reminds you of the lush green farms in the Indian villages. But your heart sinks when you see the amount of garbage piled at the corners of the track. Although this mess is cleared every single morning, there is always a new heap waiting to be cleaned for the next day. People forget the fact that the one who cleans this dirt is also a human being. It is a hopeless when you see a person carrying a fancy mobile, talking in style, reading some famous novel, but throws wafer packets out of the train window. What is the use of such an education that enables one to read, understand but ignore basic mannerisms?

Clean and green Mumbai is a dream, which is impossible to achieve without support from all – EACH AND EVERY citizen.

Pudhil station Vile Parle…agala station Vile Parle….next station Vile Parle

Instruction Board…I wonder how many have ever noticed this board. Few instructions make me laugh my lungs out.

1. Smoking is strictly prohibited. Penalty fine upto Rs. 100

Well, till now I have not seen anyone smoking in ladies compartment atleast.

2. A person carrying dangerous goods on the railways could be given a prison term upto three years or fine upto Rs. 1000 or both.

Dangerous goods…a good reminder provided someone reads and understands the consequences of the action.

3. Unescorted students depend upon you for protection, please accommodate and look after them.

Yes, point noted though these days kids are smarter than adults.

4. It is dangerous to lean out of a running train.

Yet people perform various stunts even if there is ample space in the compartment.

5. Do not travel without proper ticket.

Every single day numerous passengers climb into first class compartment with a second class ticket and when asked, very cleverly make ‘an OMG face’ and say that it was a mistake. However, by the time they apologise, the train has reached their desired station and it is time to leave. Worst still, several people travel without tickets and are confident that they will never be caught.

6. Please do not keep luggage near the doorway.

Luggage at doorways is a major reason for many quarrels. People sit with their luggage at the doorways and expect others to jump over them & their belongings to get down at the platform

7. Please do not keep your feet on seat.

With lot of reluctance, this luxury is given away when someone comes and stands on the royalty’s head that acts as a reminder that even I have paid for the ticket so please move your precious feet from the seat.

8. Please allow passengers to alight first.

Ask this to someone travelling in a Borivali train, who wants to get down at Andheri. If he or she gets down in one piece then they should not forget to thank God.

Pudhil station Andheri…agala station Andheri….next station Andheri…

…And once again my thoughts get interrupted by the woman in the recorded voice…Oh! I see the platform of Andheri station…Now I need to move out before I am crushed by the arriving mob…I quickly get down and once again become a part of the huge ever-increasing crowd at Andheri station.

This is Mumbai…this is life…yes, this is Mumbai meri jaan! Jai ho!

Today in my office, our e-marketing executive was talking to one of the clients (who happened to be a lady), and he was supposed to inform her that their company products have been uploaded on our website. Of course, I could not hear the other side, and to me the tel-con sounded like this (and with this I am done with my laughter session for the day)…

Tel con: “Hello ma’am! How are you?…Oh Yes!…Yes, of course…Very well ma’am…And did you know your products got uploaded today?”

Now which products? “Her products” could damn well mean anything.

Then sometime back, it was my dear HR manager speaking to our accountant (again a lady) on phone. It so happened that while he was talking with her on the landline, there was another urgent call on his mobile, which he had to take. He told her to hold on for a minute and he would get back. He hurriedly finished speaking to the person calling on his mobile and then got back to her on the landline. Till here it was alright, but the opening statement was hilarious…

“Hello again…sorry to hold you.” (When it was supposed to be ‘Sorry to keep you waiting/on hold’…“Hold you” was bad.)

Our HR manager is known for cracking such jokes. I will describe two more similar comic situations to you. Once he was to enquire about the cost of some catering services for our office employees. The caterer was a lady again. And the tel con that day was…

“Hello…Haan main woh hi hun jis ne kal phone kiya tha catering ke liye…Haan woh poochna tha ke madam aap ka rate kya hai?”

(“Hello…Yes, I am the same person who called yesterday regarding catering services…I wanted to ask…Madam what is your rate?”) (Gross statement)

On another occasion, he was suppose to inform the computer service provider to send one of his men to increase the RAM of one of the PCs belonging to an employee named Vijay; and he says to the computer service in charge…

“Haan Dinesh Bhai…Zara apke adami ko bhej dena aaj…Woh kaam hai office mein…Vijay ka RAM badhana hai.” (Ab Vijay ka RAM koi kaise bhadhaye )

(“Yes…Mr. Dinesh…please send one of your men today here at office…there’s work…Vijay’s RAM is to be increased.” (Now how can someone increase Vijay’s RAM? ))

Sometimes it is an incomplete sentence that could sound wrong. Sometimes our literary translation of our mother tongues to English could be inappropriate. And sometimes, it so happens that a third person walks in and picks up only a part of an ongoing conversation, which he doesn’t understand completely, and therefore, is amused or angered (depending on the meaning interpreted).

Here’s another example, and this happened during my internship days, when we were posted in one of the government hospitals. Now, in our government hospitals, general wards obviously don’t have any privacy and as usual all the beds are occupied. Amongst all the patients, there was one patient who was having tuberculosis and his X-ray was perfectly showing all the clinical features a medical student would like to see. The patient was having tough time, was ill, lying on bed with one relative sitting on a stool at his bedside. And we, the interns go to examine him. One of my friends takes the X-ray film and starts examining it in the light. We all gather around him and admire the X-ray. And there one of my good friend says, “What a sexy X-ray this is!” Timing was bad; the physician in charge walks in, who obviously had heard my friend, and we all get a good lecture that day not on tuberculosis but on people skills.

That X-ray was a piece of chocolate to the interns but in no way it was sweet to the patient or his family. We did not mean to hurt the suffering patient but in some way we did.

Sometimes even misunderstandings can be a source of entertainment. Now this happened in our OPD (out-patient department) one day. It was the Medicine OPD; the room was packed with interns, with little space left for the patient to walk into the room and sit across the surgeon. One patient with a history of chronic cough walks in. Case history is taken, patient is examined, and now comes the time for the doctor to advice the patient. In this case, along with some blood tests, an X-ray chest was to be done. Usually people coming in the government hospitals are not educated, so the tests have to be explained in the dialects commonly spoken. The tests were explained in Hindi that day.

Doctor: “Apko chaati ka photo nikalna padega.” (If you translate it, then it  means that your chest picture has to be removed).

Patient:  Who is very confused, looks at the doctor then at us, then again at doctor. He then confirms, “Doctor, mujhe mere chaati ka photo nikalna padega kya?” (Doctor, will I have to remove my chest picture?)

Doctor: “Haan, usi se pata chalega ke wajah kya hai bimaari ki.” (Yes, from that we will come to know the cause of your disease.)

Patient: “Par photo se kaise pata chalega?” (But how will you come to know that from a photo?)

Doctor: “X-ray se hi pata chalta hai ke respiratory system mein koi problem hai ya nahi.” (From X-ray we will come to know if there is any problem in you respiratory system or not.)

Patient: “Achcha X-ray! Mujhe laga chaati ki tasveer khincheni padegi. Ok ab samjha!” (Ok X-ray! I thought I will have to click my chest snap and give it to you. Now  I Understood!)

And we all exploded with laughter. Good thing this time was that it was a male patient; had it been a female patient, then our good surgeon would have been declared a pervert that day. Also that day we all also learnt a lesson; never underestimate people coming in government hospitals, even they could be educated.

It is very important to think over what you speak. Every time a wrong sentence may not be humorous. It could cause misunderstandings, and could create plenty of problems for you. One should keep learning from his/her own mistakes, and also from those of others. And till you all learn, I will enjoy my laughter pills prescription!

…Ashu Bolar

Giving up smoking or may be drinking or probably both…

Exercising regularly …

Cutting on calories and eating a healthy diet…

Reducing the baby fat finally…

Brushing/flossing your teeth every day (yes, I know we don’t skip this) and night (is skipped at times)…

Arriving on time and reducing the late marks you had last year…

Forgiving foes, making more friends…

Making right investments…

Saving water, electricity, petrol…environment…

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

…the list goes on!

“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.”

- Joey Adams

Well, I pray that troubles, if any, last the minimal duration as I intend to stick to my resolutions (all except the first as I do not smoke or drink ) this year till the next year and if needed may be longer.

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” 

- Oprah Winfrey

I will try to get it right and wish good luck to you all for the same!

I wish all my dear readers A Very Happy, Healthy, Wealthy, Prosperous & Wonderful 2010!

…Ashu Bolar

It was a beautiful day…the third weekday…a Wednesday…a perfect day. I had a good day at office, and was back home early. I was planning for an early dinner so that I can retire to bed by 10:30 pm. I was just done with my dinner that my brother received a call from one of his friends informing about the terror attacks in Mumbai. My mom turned on the news channel. All the news channels were flooded with inhuman act of the terrorists – firing at CST, firing at Leopold restaurant, firing at Cama hospital, blasts at Vile Parle, Santacruz & Dockyard, and the hijack of the Taj, Oberoi and Nariman House. I was glued to the television till 2 am. It was then that I could take no more glimpse of the pain caused to the city. I decided to sleep.

Was it a sleep or just a quick blink of eyes, I don’t know as even in my dreams reflected the terrifying images of those savage attacks. I could see the sun rays peeping through the heavy drape of curtains in my bedroom. I knew it was morning but what I did not know was the scenario at the Taj, Oberoi and Nariman House – the three main terrorist target spots.

I gulped down my morning tea surfing through the news channels. The painful footages showed the images of the firing and blast victims…of the courageous officers’ funerals and the mourning of their families…of the confusion among the family and friends of the hostages held up by the terrorists…of the tension residing in every Indian heart…of the shock that gripped the world. I did not realize how time just drifted watching this horrifying news. It was now 9:30am, time to leave for office.

The atmosphere outside was very silent. Though being a Thursday, it just appeared as a weekend. The schools were closed down. Many offices had declared an off. As I did not receive any call from my management, I decided to go to my office. I could see the pain on the street in the eyes of Mumbaikars. These attacks were the sole topic of discussion amongst one and all. The attendance in my office was hopeless. Whoever came was in a state of panic. No one could concentrate on work. All were just glued to the web pages to know about the status of this painful battle between the commandos and terrorists.

Every minute the damage rate just kept escalating…The death toll kept rising…There was a mixture of news and rumours…It was getting difficult to differentiate between them now…The confusion and the panic just kept piling on…It appeared as if these terrorist attacks had no end… I could make out that fear had gripped everyone. We were asked to leave office early.

The following day at office was equally bad. The discussion of these gruesome attacks and the keenness to know what will happen next, kept every person mentally busy at office. It was only after 59 hours of ordeal that the commandos and police force succeeded this war with terrorism. The newspapers and channels covered up every bit and piece of these terror attacks. There were many brave officials who had lost their lives fighting this war of terrorism. Entire country was mourning along with their families.

Saturday was a better day. Usually, it is a half day at my office but the pending load of work from the previous two days had to be completed. So, my Saturday was a quarter less to full day.

My Sunday went juggling between the newspapers and the news channels. People were aggressive. There was a common voice against the government and terrorism. Candles were lit to pay tribute to the innocent and brave lives lost. People marched in rallies to condemn the coward act of terrorism and the weak political system of our country.

Monday brought with it the last month of this year. News channels still displayed the same image of the single terrorist caught alive but newer images of the damages caused at various sites and to various families. Newspapers had larger and coloured images in the demise section – a section barely read but had become the most eagerly waited section this week. It also gave the list of the dead bodies identified at various hospitals. At office all were back to work. Newer assignments were given to be completed this week.

Tuesday had new headlines of bombs found at three different spots along with the same old pictures of the captured terrorist, the burning Taj, the shattered Oberoi, the partially collapsed Nariman House, the martyrs from this attack, the brave commandos in black suits, the tired policemen in bullet proof jackets and the worried politicians. There were interviews of many eminent personalities on matters like terrorism and fragile politics. There were reports of the politicians resigning. There were mocking and sarcastic articles on our good-for-nothing politicians and the disappointing political system of our country. Candles were still lit to acknowledge the death of all the innocents in this battle with terrorism. My work at office was just a continuation of yesterday.

It is a Wednesday today, a week since the terror attacks. Mumbaikars have regained back the pace that the fast-life here demands. The spine-chilling atmosphere of last Wednesday – 26/11 – has subdued but not wiped away completely. The flash of images of the young terrorists behind this mayhem still continues…The display of destruction caused still continues…The blame game played between the politicians still continues…The anger among the citizens still continues…The grieving for the brave lives lost still continues…The expression of sorrow on the death of innocents still continues…The confusion between the news and rumours still continues…And the visibility of the tension frown on the forehead of every Mumbaikar still continues…

25/11/2009 

Today is another beautiful Wednesday but the newspapers, TV channels and Internet articles remind us that tomorrow will be one year since those terror attacks. 26/11 terror has left scar in the mind of every Mumbaikar. Today, people still hunt for the bullet damaged spots when they go to CST. Those barracks on stations, the weapon detectors, and the uniformed officers are clear reminders of 26/11. Always known for their luxury and ambiance, today Taj and Oberoi are associated as the 26/11 spots as well. How can one forget this day?

26/11 does not require the year 2008 ahead of it as no one who experienced that day, as a victim or as an audience, will ever forget those terror attacks and that year. Till date papers carry the same snap of the terrorist…till date articles are written on 26/11…till date discussions are going on and on and on…but since 26/11, every person leaves his/her house praying that everything today should go well and Lord alone save everyone from what happened on 26/11 or any day similar to 26/11.

It is rightly said…In The Absence Of Light, Darkness Prevails…And the hunt for that light still continues…

…Ashu Bolar

I thought of writing on the metamorphosis we all undergo right from being an infant to toddler to kid to teenager to young adult, adult….till now I can write only till this age as I am biologically eligible to comment only till the third decade of life. So let’s begin our decade journey…

The first decade of any ones life is good.  This decade we are Rolly Polly Chubby Cheeks! Life then was something like this…

Teeth – Erupting, falling and then re-erupting.

Skin – Oh! Those lovely chubby cheeks!

Hair – As per your parents’ wishes and school norms.

Weight – Gaining is a blessing and if not then mothers drive the paediatricians crazy.

Girls/Boys – “I am a girl and my younger brother is a boy.”

Dating – “What is that mom?”

Marriage – “My mom’s and dad’s wedding anniversary. “

Kids – “I am a kid and all my friends are kids.”

Career – “Haaaaaaaaaaan??????”

Fights – All the time fighting with brothers and sisters, could be kids at nursery, school or tuitions…But all are easily forgotten.

Friends – “Meena, Teena, Naina, Pinky, Chinky, Twinkle, Appy, Dolly, Raju, Appu, Dabbu………and Chicku.”

Drinks – Milk, milk and more milk…sometimes plain, sometimes in flavours…but there is no way out of it.

TV – “Pogo and Cartoon Network. I like Mr. Bean and Tom & Jerry and Mickey Mouse and Popeye and Woody Wood Pecker, Tintin and…” the list is endless.

Sleep – As much as you want…if you don’t then it is a problem.

Money – “Dad pays all the bills.”

Life – “The general or universal condition of human existence.” – A definition thought in Science class.

Nice, very nice…I miss these days…The only days of life when you can actually relax. Let’s move to the second one. This age is of major transformation; the decade of blooming. From a kid, now you are on your way to be a teenager and then step up towards adulthood. This decade is full of vigour, energy along with lots and lots of confusion and queries. This the decade of Friends-Fondling-Fooling Around-Fun!

Teeth – “Oh Lord! This wisdom tooth…pain is bad but ok I will get wisdom.”

Skin – Every acne drives you crazy.

Hair – Changes after every new hit movie released…short, long, curled, straight and in various colours (like red and blue also)… all depends on current fashion.

Weight – Initially hunger prangs, then there are hunger prangs but image consciousness arises and so there comes the word dieting which all mothers hate though they are busy doing the same.

Girls/Boys – Posters of all actors on walls, starts dreaming about that miss or mister perfect and for some the hunt begins and others are busy experimenting and enjoying different flavours.

Dating – A very juicy topic…can talk hours together on it…baseless discussions but that time those are the only conversations one can think of…deciding on appropriate dresses, make up , cologne, accessories and may the right palace – disc, restaurant, movie, mall…all this hard work for the date which you may later not even remember.

Marriage – “After I complete my education”, “After I am settled in life”, “Marriage…why talk about it now?”

Kids – “I am no more a kid pleaseeeeeeeeee!”

Career – Hmmmm…I want to be a doctor, no may be a pilot or may be a lawyer, no no engineer would be right…lot of confusion but some are sure of what they want to be or some are made to be sure on they will be by their parents.

Fights – Hmmm…in competition, in jealously, in foolishness, in fun…some are forgotten some are not.

Friends – Can name few to many and many many more!

Drinks – Mom no milk please – tea or coffee or cola….milk but this time skimmed (Could be other drinks also, which of course you don’t ask your mom to serve!)

TV – Music channels, Pop songs, DJ music and the likes or some Daily Soap Operas with your mom (it is okay but most of times are exaggerated), Sports (probably betting on some team), Film Awards and Movies (hmmm…all and each one, specially dying to see what is there in the ones rated ‘A’).

Sleep – Who sleeps when you are either busy preparing for your exams or entrance tests or could be busy reading a Mills and Boons masked under your study material?

Money – “Wish dad increases my pocket money a little”, “I wish mom gets generous this month too and add to my savings”, “Will have to hunt for a part time job to take care of my expenses.”

Life – My friends and fun!

Okay! Now 21 onwards one is legally adult, and there the story of this decade begins. The decade of ‘Fight Flab. Be Fit!’

Teeth – “Damn! When are these wisdom teeth going to finally erupt?”

Skin – Clean ups, facials, massages…all care is taken that you can afford to make yourself and/or your beloved happy.

Hair – One grey hair is a reason enough to bother you…Every attempt is made to hide it.

Weight – “Gaining? Have I gained weight? Am I looking fat? Goodness I have to hit gym now!”(Every inch bothers you and makes you go frenzy. Every effort is put in to fight the baby flab.)

Girls/Boys – “I am seeing someone”, “I am engaged”, “I am married”…but there are still some who are still single and ready to mingle.

Dating – “With my boyfriend”, “With my fiancée”, “With my husband”, “I just had a break up so with no one for me as of now”, but for some “I am still searching not succeeded yet in getting that right date.”

Marriage – “I hoping for one”, “I am planning for one”, “I recently got married”, “I am still dreaming about it”, “My marriage decision was wrong, may file for a divorce soon”, “I am happy with my relation…may get married someday”, and for some “I am wondering if virginity is bliss or curse???”

Kids – “Oh! We are expecting one!”, “We may plan for one”, “Will think about it”, “We are taking treatment to get one”, “We are deciding on a second one”, “There is still time for one. Let us enjoy a little more”, “Will think about it after I get married”…

Career – “I am a doctor”, “I am a designer”, “I am a teacher”, “I am still studying”, “I have finished my education and hunting for job now”, “I was lucky…I cleared the interview and will soon be working with an MNC”, “I am tired hunting for job…looks as if I will never get one”, “I am joining my dad’s business”, “I got a promotion”,  “I am still hunting for that dream job”,  “I am a homemaker”…and many such varied comments from many of us.

Fights – All the time with bosses or spouses!

Friends –Many on social networking friend list but only a few, whom you share your thoughts and sentiments with.

Drinks – “Tea for me, coffee for my husband, milk for my little one”…or could be vodka, rum, wine, beer or gin? Or may be “I am addicted to one” or “I am a teetotaler”…all depends on your will power more than taste!

TV – Movies could be action or thriller or romantic or sports or again Pogo and Cartoon Network but with your kids and then see recaps of your missed soap operas.

Sleep – “Sleep! Don’t remember when I last had a peaceful one?” “I wish I could sleep a little longer but then I got to travel/study/complete the office work carried home”, “My little kids don’t let me sleep”, “Partying hard so I barely sleep”…

Money – First struggle but then there is plenty of it to enjoy cappuccino in a posh café anytime you want, enough to plan an yearly trip for yourself, enough to buy expensive presents for your dear ones, enough to pay all your bills, enough to leave life independently or could be enough to start a family!

Life – For some “My Work”, for others “My Family”, and for few “My Work and My Family”.

I would have loved to write more but now that my eligibility is constrained, therefore, I need to stop on the third decade. I hope you enjoyed reading this and related some of it at least to your life. If, by God’s will I live longer, then I will keep updating this post on further decades of life…my life…our lives!

…Ashu Bolar

This ‘Something’ could be anything – a person, a pet or just an object. But the loss hurts. Your heart bleeds, eyes cry, soul shivers… the loss leaves you shattered.

Friends, are you still thinking that how it is possible? Well then, go through these possible examples.

Your neighbour must be having a poochie to which you are much attached. You spent your spare time playing, cuddling, walking and even talking to this animal – an animal which is also your friend. It is a part of your life. But one day your neighbour decides to relocate and there goes this poochie along with him. You are hurt, you feel sad, you get upset and you may even cry.

See…you lost something which you never had!

You have a friend who is very smart, dashing, caring, lovable, charming…an ideal marriage material. Your eyes don’t hurt when you admire this special person without blinking. Anything your friend talks is music to your ears. You realize it is more than friendship. You are in love with your friend. This friend reciprocates to all your gestures that you don’t feel the need to express your way of thinking. But one day, your friend comes with a broad smile, declares about the engagement and hands over to you a wedding card which ofcourse does not have your name printed next to your beloved friend’s name. You are lost. Your heart sinks. You are angry. You curse fate.

Look …you lost something which you never had!

Many a times we want things our way. We try to have power over things which are far beyond our control by just playing the assumption game. You must have never thought that your neighbour would relocate but that was an assumption. You thought your friend loved you the way you did but again you assumed. Such assumptions will give you ephemeral happiness but the instant you realize the fact – that’s the time when it hurts. But we should remember that every connection (be it an association or a relation) teaches a silent lesson and leaves an impression. It is upto us to learn this lesson and remember this impression.

This statement was a message on my friend’s facebook status bar. But it made me think and think on all and everything that I have lost to the game of assumptions. Yes, at times even my heart bled, eyes cried, soul shivered…even I was shattered but to realize that it is another silent lesson learnt.

There are times when we would want to stay in that virtual world, but we should never forget to return to the real world on time. And yes, next time I will surely try not to lose anything which I never had! Hope you all will also do the same!

…Ashu Bolar

This is the trail of your thoughts in the waiting room outside the labour room of the maternity clinic where your expecting wife is about to deliver. That anxiousness is worth it when your heart melts at the sight of your own child.

No matter at what stage of fatherhood you are, you will always wish the best for your kid. You always think of handling every issue – be it a problem at work, home or relation – in a manner where tomorrow you should not regret. Your child sees you as an example. You know that, and hence, you want yourself to be the best example.

At every age there will be different problems that you may face. From the teething of your baby to the school marks and remarks to the college friend circle to the career chosen to the partner selected…everything is to be tackled in a way which will generate more respect for you in his/her heart than otherwise.

Someone rightly quoted, “To become a father is not difficult, but to be a father is.”

This fatherhood route will be rough, a little tough, with more or less bumps – but you have decided to traverse it…so travel with full fun and vigour!

Yes, the soon-to be-fathers…Welcome to Fatherhood!

                                                                                                                                                                          … Ashu Bolar

                                                                                                                                       (Published on Healthizen.com)

My other articles on Men’s Health published on Healthizen.com include:

1. Is That Receding Hairline Bothering You?

2. Beat That Saturday Night Hangover!

3. The Vicious Cycle Of Stress and Addiction

4. Smoking, Drinking & Male Infertility

5. Diet For Male Fertility

6. Gynaecomastia

7. What and Why Of Circumcision

8. Prostate Health

9. Genetic Anomalies & Men’s Health

10. Is Maturbation A Disease Or A Habit?

11. Men, Sex & Health

12. Get Groomed!

13. Get Fit!

14. Get Sportive!